Who Did It Better? ... Jail Time

A mainstay of many fashion and celebrity magazines is a feature call "Who Wore It Better?"  This delightful feature compares the photos of two celebrities who wore the same outfit in an effort to show you who pulled it off better.  It's like showing up to prom and seeing another girl in your dress... but having the experience rated by the national media.

This week, it has come to my attention that we could change the feature to "Who Did It Better... Jail Time". 

My comparison: Paris Hilton to Lindsay Lohan.  There are few situations in which I would compliment Miss Hilton, but I must say that in this case, she clearly did it better.  Lilo hasn't actually started her sentence so it may change, but the court round definitely goes to Paris.  I would feel comfortable putting money on the idea that future rounds will also be decided in her favor too.

Key to this decision: State of mind and behavior.  Unlike pal (or former pal -- it's so hard to keep up with who's friends in Hollywood) Paris seemed to recognize that even if she didn't feel remorse it was in her best interest to SHOW remorse.  

Tips from Paris that Lindsay should have followed regarding behavior

1) Rally with your family.  Do not rail against your family.

2) Dress appropriately and sedately.  Do not turn your day in court into a fashion show.  Do not write "F*CK U" on your finger nail and "subtley" direct that at the judge.

3) Crying should is okay if it's a polite show of remorse or fear about going to jail, not that you're two seconds away from a complete mental breakdown.

The biggest factor on "Who Did It Better... Jail Time" is the deeper meaning factor.  Paris used the time in jail to read the Bible and get in touch with religion.  When that first made the news, I had my doubts, but even if it isn't the most sincere at least she only following the inmate example of finding God.  Furthermore, she seems to be doing better after her release and at least being less of a drunken public nuisance.  So maybe God works for her.  Lindsay had a slightly different take on her punishment.  She decided to take a stance on constitutionality of sentencing with a minor in women's rights.  She began with a series of tweets from her twitter account that started with a rant about "cruel and unusual" punishment.  She then linked up to an article about the woman in Iran who is going to be stoned for adultery, asking her followers to retweet.  This has been interpreted in the media as Lindsay's attempt to compare her "cruel and unusual" 90 day jail sentence to Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani death by stoning sentencing.  Umm really?

So I suppose for the final decision we have to see how Lohan handles surrendering herself for jail time in two weeks, the jail sentence itself, and then her behavior immediately after her release.  Does anyone imagine that she will be able to keep it together enough for an interview with Larry King? 

My vote: Paris did it better.