Winston and the $ilver Mining Plan

Why has it been so long since I have written on this blog?  Some of you have asked and I have answered that work has consumed my life.  This is true.  Of course, I would have a difficult time explaining what it is that I do all day.  And it varies from week to week, day to day, and even hour to hour.  Like this fine example from a few weeks ago:

I was wrapping up some student organization consultations (normal work) and walked out to our administrative associate's desk area.  Jose was talking to a man who was carrying a stack of flyers.  He looked to be about 60 years old and my initial reaction was that he was homeless.  (After a year of riding the bus to work every day you start to get a sense of who needs to get somewhere and who really needs a warm place to sit.)  The man was telling Jose that he wanted to meet with Mary Beth who is my boss' boss and Jose was trying to explain that Mary Beth's calender was booked solid.  Now it's true that if someone who is not a UT faculty, staff, or student is on campus and refuses to leave the building we can call UTPD to escort them out, but we do try to avoid that whenever possible.  Jose was frustrated so I stepped in, introduced myself as an associate of Mary Beth's and asked if there was anything I could help him with.

His name was Winston.  He was 64 years old.  He proceeded to tell me all about his $ilver Light Mining Plan ($ change his).  You see, the $ilver Light is a whole new untapped area that can produce our American economy with billions of dollars and take us out of debt.  Winston's flyers were recruitment posters for employees for the company.  If you signed up to be one of the first 200 employees of the $ilver Light Mining Company you would receive a free t-shirt and safe bus transportation to Memphis for just $15.  In Memphis, you would attend Winston's speech to reveal to the world his plan for $ilver Light Mining and announce the release of his book, which would unveil the truths proving that he is the next Martin Luther King, Jr.  

Oh yes, that's right.  The next MLK, Jr.  It turns out that in addition to being an entrepreneur and an author, Winston believes in reincarnation and in conspiracy theories.  And I got to hear them ALL.  For an hour.

I finally managed to send Jose an iChat begging him to interrupt and say that my next appointment was here just so that I could send Winston away.  He left me with two flyers; one for Mary Beth and one for UT President Powers, because we're close.

And that is what I do with my life.  That is the story of Winston of the $ilver Mining Plan.

AKA  You know you really want my job.

AKA  What I did with my master's degree today.

AKA  You can't make this up.

Goo Out the Door

I had a very awkward conversation the other day.  And while normally I wouldn't shy away from sharing the details of this excruciatingly painful discussion, this time I just need to keep it to myself.  Does anyone remember the show The Secret World of Alex Mack on Nickelodeon from sometime in the 90's?  The jist of it being that a junior high girl is accidentally involved in a toxic spill and can then do interesting things like conduct electricty with her fingers or turn into a pile of mobile goo.  Suffice to say, if I could have channeled the goo version of Alex Mack and goo-ed out of chair and under the door I definitely would have done so.  Anyway, it's over and all's well that ENDS.

Pocket Susan Advice: I wanted to share some bits of an article by Jenna Schnuer that interviews Daniel Menaker, author of A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation since not all conversations are as bad as mine.  One of the main reasons to have aimless conversations, he shares, is that since "a good conversation always involves finding common ground, it means that differences will have to retire to the sidelines, at least for a time."

Jenna: How can people, in this driven-with-purpose age, retrain themselves to have aimless conversations?

Daniel: If you purposely make time to have a conversation, you're almost defeating it to begin with because you're giving yourself another thing to do -- which is sort of not hte point.  It's more a change in attitude.  A greater openness.

Jenna: My bad habit is that I'm an interrupter.  What are some of the greatest pitfalls and remedies for people attempting conversations?

Daniel: I don't think [interruptions are] so bad.  I think people are much more tolerant of interruptions than common manners books would have it.  It shows energy and enthusiasm for the topic.  You take it as a form of engagement if it really is to the point.

      Less easy to deal with is saying something that is offensive.  The best thing to do about being affronted is be stoical.  If there's some reason you really can't tolerate what was just said, I think you have to say something.  You have to remember not to go to certain places until you're invited.   Being in a conversation is like a dance: If you don't know what to do and you don't feel confident taking the lead, then let the other person take the lead.  That's by far the best advice I have.

Call 911

Today I took down the Emergency Referral and Assistance contact list that was posted in our office kitchen in 1987.  No joke.   1987.  It has been bothering me for a while, (read: been bothering me since the second day of work and first day that I entered the kitchen) but I thought maybe it was one of those things that always has to be posted legally.  Except that I looked up a few of the numbers and was not surprised to discover that some had changed in the last 20 years.  So today, while my sandwich was in the toaster oven, I checked that no one was coming and I tore down the sign.  In case of an emergency, please call 9-1-1.