I had a very awkward conversation the other day. And while normally I wouldn't shy away from sharing the details of this excruciatingly painful discussion, this time I just need to keep it to myself. Does anyone remember the show The Secret World of Alex Mack on Nickelodeon from sometime in the 90's? The jist of it being that a junior high girl is accidentally involved in a toxic spill and can then do interesting things like conduct electricty with her fingers or turn into a pile of mobile goo. Suffice to say, if I could have channeled the goo version of Alex Mack and goo-ed out of chair and under the door I definitely would have done so. Anyway, it's over and all's well that ENDS.
Pocket Susan Advice: I wanted to share some bits of an article by Jenna Schnuer that interviews Daniel Menaker, author of A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation since not all conversations are as bad as mine. One of the main reasons to have aimless conversations, he shares, is that since "a good conversation always involves finding common ground, it means that differences will have to retire to the sidelines, at least for a time."
Jenna: How can people, in this driven-with-purpose age, retrain themselves to have aimless conversations?
Daniel: If you purposely make time to have a conversation, you're almost defeating it to begin with because you're giving yourself another thing to do -- which is sort of not hte point. It's more a change in attitude. A greater openness.
Jenna: My bad habit is that I'm an interrupter. What are some of the greatest pitfalls and remedies for people attempting conversations?
Daniel: I don't think [interruptions are] so bad. I think people are much more tolerant of interruptions than common manners books would have it. It shows energy and enthusiasm for the topic. You take it as a form of engagement if it really is to the point.
Less easy to deal with is saying something that is offensive. The best thing to do about being affronted is be stoical. If there's some reason you really can't tolerate what was just said, I think you have to say something. You have to remember not to go to certain places until you're invited. Being in a conversation is like a dance: If you don't know what to do and you don't feel confident taking the lead, then let the other person take the lead. That's by far the best advice I have.
